I told myself that I was not going to write this kind of post, but sometimes you just have to let things out before they come out on their own.
December 23rd has been a somber day in my family. With all the Christmas festivities, you would think that it would be another day to get through before Christmas Day.
On this day my father was born. Normally we would celebrate his birthday by giving him something small (since he didn’t do big parties) and let him have his time to himself.
December 23, 2006 was the last birthday that he saw. He spent the time in the hospital. While we did what we could to pick his spirits up, we honestly knew that he wasn’t happy.
That year my father made the eerie premonition that he wouldn’t live to see his next birthday–who knew he was right.
So every year December 23rd comes and we try our best to celebrate my father. Appreciate him for what he was, and valued him for who he was.
But every year is a hard reminder of who we lost and how much they are missed. It’s even harder when your daughter talks of her Grandpa as if they have been best friends. Deep down you wish that they have met–if only for a moment.
Losing someone is hard. Mother, father, sister, brother, you name it.
When we sit down at the table and eat dinner, we are reminded of exactly who is no longer sitting at the table.
When visiting my parents house, I have to remind myself that its my mother house now, since my father is no longer there.
But there are times that I would like to think that just because they are not at our table, doesn’t mean they are not with family. They are just celebrating with everyone who had gone before us.
So, Daddy, Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas. You are missed, like every year, and you are totally not forgotten. Even though the holidays are hard on us without you, we do what we can to keep it together.
You are forever in our hearts.