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Relieving The Worry Bug

Relieving The Worry Bug

For as long as I can remember, I have always worried.  It was something that was part of who I was, and what I did.  My mind would wander off to the worst possible scenario.  Even when writing on my blog, I would worry about how I would be perceived, who would take me the wrong way.  Sometimes, I would worry about if I would be taken too serious, or not too serious enough.  These thoughts plagued me all the time. Here are just some insights that I’ve realized that helped me put my worrying into perspective.   I wanted absolutes    One of the things I struggled with was not knowing.  I wanted to know every detail of the procedure.  Every bit of knowledge of anything that was bothering me until I’ve exhausted all materials I could find.  The problem was, I was looking for absolutes in a world that is not certain. No one can promise today, or tomorrow.  I worried about preventing things.  From helping my family out, to making sure that I’m doing everything I can health wise for them.  Honestly, I can just do the best that I can.  I do what I can (and afford) for my family, and then leave the rest up to God.   I can’t say that I stop researching information–I think that’s just hardwired in me to do now.  However, I’m not obsessed about it.  When I feel like I have received the answers that I was looking for, then I start applying what I have learned.   Separate what I can do from what I can’t  ...
Practicing the Graces Through Motherhood

Practicing the Graces Through Motherhood

I don’t  talk too much about motherhood on my blog.  Honestly, I don’t know why.  It’s what I do. I’m a mother. I wake up, and I work for my family, and then I go to sleep still working (because I co-sleep). To actually talk about raising children is not something I’ve done, or have been comfortable doing. Am I too deep in this and feel that I’m not qualified?  Have I looked deeply on my mistakes, see where I can improve and feel like I don’t have reason to talk–maybe.  There is one word that follows me around when I interact with my children all day–I don’t know everything.   Working With Different Personalities   Life with 3 children (and one on the way) there are many different personalities.  I have a child who is selective in their hearing, but can be sweet and thoughtful at times.  I have a child that has a total breakdown when I don’t feed them at the exact correct time, and they cannot even read time yet.  Another one is sensitive, but built like a truck–seriously, don’t mess with him. Working with these personalities is trying and exhausting.  There are days where I just want to lock myself in my bedroom and hide!  However, I know that God does everything for a reason, and he has his own reasons for doing what he does.   My Key To Sainthood   The trials that we face everyday, as mothers is a stark reminder that this is our key to sainthood.  Just thinking about heaven and realizing that it is full of mothers and...
Frustrations With A Wounded Heart

Frustrations With A Wounded Heart

I had taken a step back from writing on this blog for many reasons. My days are more filled with things to do. Also, I was pregnant most of this year, so my thoughts were mainly mush. However, truly analyzing why it’s been hard for me to write, has been due to the problems that is happening in the Church. Since 2018 there has been report after report about the problems that are in the Church. Money issues (and mishandling), abuses and misconduct by those in trusted position. If I tried to see if our Pope had anything encouraging to say—I would be sorely disappointed. The words of our Pope has been far from positive for those of us who love Our Lord’s Church. So, for over a year, it has been hard for me to effectively share my love for my Faith, when all these black eyes are popping up from the abyss. I mean, how effectively can you evangelize when your roof is on fire? I know all of this is in God’s plan. Everything is according to His will. It’s not for me to explain away the problems we have in the Church—yeah we have them. And yeah, the problems is causing a lot of people to lose their faith. There has been two school of thought about this crisis— either we go about “business as usual,” or continue to shed a spotlight on the issue. As painful as it is, I pray that a spotlight continues to shine bright, so we can see how truly to problem lies. Of course on top of that is...
The Importance of Hobbies

The Importance of Hobbies

I can remember fond memories of my father who would say, “Go find something to do,” when I would say that I was bored. That was the perfect opportunity to go and find something that I actually liked to do.  As I got older though, it was harder and harder to pull away from the responsibilities of life and find a hobby that I was passionate about. When my daughter was born, the first really hobby of adulthood (and parenthood) was blogging.  It was awesome to connect with different moms and to talk with them.  Best of all, it was a reminder that I wasn’t alone in this job and that there were others just like me.  However, I as I started to have more children, there had to be something more that connected me to a person other than they were a  mom like me. Dabbling in hobbies For the longest, I struggled to find out what that was. Where was my group?  Where did I belong?  What am I really passionate about?  At first I took up photography.  I really like to take pictures, but with children constantly around you (and you having to keep an eye on them) what I thought I wanted to take pictures of, I actually didn’t get any pleasure out of.  Turned out I needed to accept what I liked to take pictures of. After I lost the desire to write for a while (talk about being overwhelmed), and to take pictures, I really felt like I had no creative outlet for myself.  That was when things got to much, and eventually I had a...
First Cardigan Completed

First Cardigan Completed

In January I’ve decided to knit a cardigan for my daughter. I’ve calculated the amount of yarn I was going to need (size 10/12 girls), and picked out the “perfect” yarn. It was a straightforward pattern with a stitch pattern from the Japanese Stitch Bible. I’ve bought this book with the sole intention to knit intricate cables and lace. But since I’ve only been knitting for 2 years, I’ve decided to pick something “easy.” There were many things that set me back from this project. The first and major one (although very happy one), is that I had just found out I was expecting my fourth (due September). For the longest, I couldn’t even look at the project because of the concentration that it required. Between pregnancy, homeschooling two kids and taking care of a toddler, my brain was fried! I was so so thankful when the second trimester started cause that is where the energy picked up and I finished the project.   This has to be my most complicated pattern to date, but I won’t lie and say it was easy! Just a simple conversation would throw me off, and I would have to undo the row that I just worked. So, this wasn’t a mindless knit at all–at least not for a pregnant mama. Another issue that I encountered, because of my bright idea of yarn choice, was to use Ombré self dyed yarn for this project. After I finished this panel, it then occurred to me that I have to make the front as similar as possible and the sleeves too. Again, because it was...
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