It’s that time of year again when we look back on our lives (at least this year) and reflect how this year had gone. I used to hate this time of year, since we can get so nostalgic about the past, but lately I have been very thankful for it. It does allow me to think about where I was, if I am where I want to be, and what have I been doing with my time.
Saying Hello.
Last year, right before the year ended, by 3rd child was born. It seems odd to start with the end of last year, but I feel that is where it all began. My 3rd child was my “stop drawing into myself” child. Slowly, I noticed how doubt, fear, and worry kept creeping back into my life. Worried that I was going to get sick again. Not even sure if I was dealing with a chronic illness, but the fear was paralyzing.
When he was born, it was a reminder to me that I will do what I have to do to stay healthy, and I will do it for my children. Not because they need me, but more because I need them. So that is where the “happiness begins for me.” I am thankful that he entered into my life, and I was once again able to see what is important for me and my family.
Saying Goodbye.
Sadly in March, I said goodbye to my only remaining grandmother. Such a sad affair too since I was unable to attend her funeral. Holidays doesn’t seem the same as before because we made sure we tailored it around her and her care. The last time she saw all of us together was Thanksgiving 2016. Not too bad, since I delivered my son right before Christmas.
Winters are cold in New York, and while I love living in the city–I don’t have the city mentality of just keep going. I was hoping to bring my youngest to my grandmother when it got just a tad warmer. That didn’t seem to happen. However, she was able to see pictures and I think videos of him, so she did managed to see what her great-grandson looked like before she went on to her reward.
Holding my son in my arms while my family said good-bye to my grandmother reminded me of the fragility of life and how we think we have so much time on this earth, but we really don’t. I’ve taken this lesson to heart.
Starting Something New.
A month after my grandmother passed, I wanted to do something that will keep her memory in me alive. This was the year that I started up knitting and crochet! You can follow me on Instagram here. So now I have two Instagram accounts–one for my regular account and the other for my crocheting and knitting projects. I didn’t want to mix up the two, but I post regularly to both accounts.
In the meantime, I have created a number of things — blankets, hats, scarves, leg warmers, gloves, and while I’m still beginning, I’m remembering my grandmother as I do this. Here is one of the items that I gave away as a gift to someone who is battling an illness.
At the time, a work in progress.
I’m pretty sure that I’m going to share more with you in the future since I’m spending some of my down time reading and creating. So who knows where this will go!
Looking Forward.
2018 holds so many promises, it has so much hope, and potential. There is so much riding on “tomorrow” that sometimes we forget to live in the “today.” So here is what I hope for my tomorrow of 2018.
I want….
- To love the people around me more.
- To be present to those who need me.
- To continue to grow in my faith, and detach from things that are not necessary.
- To breathe and enjoy the moment more.
- To sit back and take it slow.
- To be still….
My hopes for tomorrow are…
- To continue to grow as a person, but grow in Our Lord.
- To want the things that have.
- To always be happy where I am at the moment (good or bad).
So I’ll see you on the other side of 2018, and while I didn’t post much in 2017 (for good reasons), I’m hoping that 2018 will be a fun year for us all.
May God Bless you and keep you safe.
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