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The Grief of Today

The Grief of Today

I was watching two segments of the news the other day. What I watched was a raw human emotion—grief.  The first was a father who lost his son in Seattle and how no one talked to him about it. The second was an 8-year-old girl who lost her life in Atlanta. Both were children. Both were someone’s child. Both sets of parents felt as if no one cared. But you couldn’t watch them and no feel their pain.  The Office Reading we read was about Absalom—David’s son who turned against his father. People who took an oath to protect his son were the same people who ended killing him.  Again and again, David made inquiries about the fate of his son. When he is finally told—in a kingdom that perceived Absalom death as a victory; to David, his son’s death crushed him, even to the point of saying that he wished her would have died instead. He wept because Absalom was his son. That was the same boy David played with when Absalom was little. He consoled his son with a skinned knee, taught him how to fight. That was his flesh and blood.  People are tired and annoyed. What’s going on today is a reminder that these are kids. Adult bodies—yes, but the mind of kids. It’s sad because no matter whIch was you slice it, they are lost. And yet—they are someone’s child. On both sides that are doing harm—it’s being done to someone’s child. At some point, at the beginning of their lives they were held by someone who loved them.  Which now brings me to...
Finding The Light

Finding The Light

I was pouring over the news in the morning, and read that a cancer patient in NYC took his own life, after finding out he was infected with the Corona Virus. The nurses found him and tried to revive him but it was too late for him. This is how I started my reflection on what I have been doing during this pandemic. Since I was following it back in January, I have been watching and waiting for it to resolve itself. Slowly, I saw it move to other countries and knew it was a matter of time before it was on our shores. Fast forward, and here it is. My family is safe in our apartment, and while we have food, love, shelter, I still wish I could do more to help my family out. However, the more I attempt to do something, the more I find myself pulling away from them. I’m checking the news, contacting loved ones, and they are contacting me (about the news), everything is about the pandemic. Don’t get me wrong, it’s important current events, we are living through history, but, it’s not the only history that’s going on right now. All around us, amazing things are happening, people are still getting married, children are still being born (they come when it’s their time), and sadly, those will pass from other causes. The Virus has many of us running around looking for some sort of solace. We are looking for that peace of mind, that reassurance that everything is going to be okay. So we watch the news, listen to the President, Governors,...
5th Week of Lent — 2 weeks lockdown

5th Week of Lent — 2 weeks lockdown

It is the 5th week of Lent. It’s been two weeks since my parish offered public Mass. It’s been three weeks since I’ve sat in the pews. This season of Lent has been completely different for me and my family–as I can imagine it has been for every family. This week has hit me especially hard.

The Gift of Starting Anew

The Gift of Starting Anew

November 2nd was All Souls Day, and it was the first time my parish celebrated our Lady of Purgatory. I woke up in the morning excited to join our parish in our All Souls’ Day event. My kids were excited, and we were ready. Then Z2 woke up with a fever and all the plans were squashed. Instead of feeling disappointed, or annoyed, I was feeling full of love. My son needed me and I was there to help him. Yes, I know this was the first time for the celebration and remembrance of our loved one, but God willing there will be another one next year. Instead, I spent my Saturday with my family and thinking about my loved ones. All those who were laid to rest before me like my father, friends, and acquaintances. I thought how not much separated me from them—only a few feet a dirt. I seriously thought about all the plans they had for tomorrow. What they will do when they will retire or when they get that day off. They never thought that the day they died would be their last day. That they—like everyone would have to make an account of their actions. It’s terrifying when you think about life and death that way. While praying my Liturgy of the Hours this came up: Now that is terrifying! Our Lord is so good and so merciful, that he waits for us in Confession. He forgives us our sins, and do not hold them against us. When we are forgiven for our sins, we have a chance of heaven again. We will...
Relieving The Worry Bug

Relieving The Worry Bug

For as long as I can remember, I have always worried.  It was something that was part of who I was, and what I did.  My mind would wander off to the worst possible scenario.  Even when writing on my blog, I would worry about how I would be perceived, who would take me the wrong way.  Sometimes, I would worry about if I would be taken too serious, or not too serious enough.  These thoughts plagued me all the time. Here are just some insights that I’ve realized that helped me put my worrying into perspective.   I wanted absolutes    One of the things I struggled with was not knowing.  I wanted to know every detail of the procedure.  Every bit of knowledge of anything that was bothering me until I’ve exhausted all materials I could find.  The problem was, I was looking for absolutes in a world that is not certain. No one can promise today, or tomorrow.  I worried about preventing things.  From helping my family out, to making sure that I’m doing everything I can health wise for them.  Honestly, I can just do the best that I can.  I do what I can (and afford) for my family, and then leave the rest up to God.   I can’t say that I stop researching information–I think that’s just hardwired in me to do now.  However, I’m not obsessed about it.  When I feel like I have received the answers that I was looking for, then I start applying what I have learned.   Separate what I can do from what I can’t  ...
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