One can wonder, how can I write mainly about faith and yet stay silent the crisis that’s going on in the Church—that’s it, I’m not ignoring it.

There is just too much going on with the crisis in the Church that one can either lose yourself or become disheartened by what’s going on.  There is a huge scandal going on where many people are losing their faith.

Since the summer, news and scandals and bad behaving Churchman have come out. It’s been one story after another. The whole end of summer turned somewhat depressing.  What was even more depressing was the silence from the Church leaders who decided to not say anything about the abuses.  They decided to “say not one word” officially, but yet use their office to call people accusers and slanders.

The truth is, abuses has been covered up.  People who have done really bad things has been moved around to different parishes, and sadly, some have been promoted.  There is a link between the abuses and sexual deviance (which I will not name here).  But there is no “consensual encounters going on when you’re a priest. It just shouldn’t be happening–period.

There is no consensual encounters going on when you have authority over another person and what you say will either have them progress or removed from moving forward.  I don’t like how these men tried to paint a picture that is consensual.  It’s breaking of a vow–a vow of celibacy and no matter which way you put it, it’s a break.  

As married person, we take a vow as well–to forsake all others.  There is also times in our marriage when we are called to be celibate.  Illness is the first thing that comes to mind.  It’s not wrong to not engage in relations, it’s wrong to ask of it while your partner is sick!

Because I’ve been keeping track of everything via social media,for the first time, I’ve questioned my use of social media and what’s it is I am doing on there.  I first got on it to promote my blog and extend conversations elsewhere, but then it just turned into something that I ended up consuming.  

I would check Twitter to find out what’s going on in the Church.  I needed to know the breaking news, right there and then.  There was absolutely no control.  

Image of Jesus on Bible

For information it seemed great.  To know what is going on, but then I’ve noticed a slow gravitation to the responses and people’s reaction and that is where the real danger lied for me.

I’m very thankful that I haven’t posted a negative (as in hurtful) reaction text on Twitter. Thankful it has only been pleas to God for prayers for His Church.

But there in the responses was the heart of those who were deeply hurting during this crisis. I’ve felt what they felt, but I process hurt differently. I (sadly) internalize it until I can process it.  Also there in the responses were people’s anger–at each other!  Which didn’t surprise me (being on social media for a long time) but what did surprise me was how far people took it.

Overall, I tried to not let the scandal and crisis get to me so much. I was bothered and angry that those who were supposed to protect the Church was using it for their own agenda. Then it was story after story that kept coming out. The people who knew and didn’t say anything. Even those who helped cover it up the abuses.

 

What didn’t help me was the very thing I was tuning into to find out what was going on.  I didn’t need to be on social media anymore.  I needed to make changes–my family needed to make changes.  We’ve made some changes that regained my peace of mind (and not adding to the problem):

  1. Ive since backed away from social media. It was hard at first, but I’ve regained my sense of peace.
  2. I need to hunker down and continue reading my spiritual books. I love reading them to grow and to apply in my life. Now that I’m removing myself from social media, I’ll have more time to do so.
  3. Slow down and enjoy the moment. One of the downsides of social media is that once you post something up, it’s already expired.  You have to keep posting something to stay “relevant.”  That’s just not how I work–I don’t throw away words.

As for faith wise, it’s hard to speak up when things around us is crumbling.  I have no problems defending my faith.  Why I believe in what I do.  I’m not shaky on that one bit.  What I do find sad is to see my faith watered down by people who don’t want to “offend,” when they are supposed to be teachers of the faith.  Such a sad time we live in.

While respect for the office of Bishop and the priesthood is the same, the person who occupies the office is a whole new story.  I’ll pray for those who have the office, and continue to learn my faith and teach it to my family.

At the end of the day, I still love my Catholic Faith. His is why knowing our Faith is so important.  I trust in what the Word of God says, I trust in what the teachers of the faith (who were not afraid to call out sins for what they were).  What I don’t trust is a shepherd that is willing to fleece their sheep, sleep in their wool, and lead them to slaughter.  I think that’s just a shame.

I honestly believe that things will continue to happen that will make us question our faith.  That will have us face a crossroad and decide do I want to get serious with this, or is this just too much for me?  This is a moment that we all have to face when we just admit that this is real, faith is messy, and the people in it are messy, and question our true foundation of it.

 I think during this crisis, we all have to search our hearts.  We have to decide what it is we believe.  If we truly believe with our words, and with our hearts–come what may.

quote on the saints about kindness