There is something I feel deep down I have to address, and its the pitfalls of the positivity trap. Now in my last post I talked about surrounding yourself with positive people. Some may interpret that with a chipper and upbeat kind of temperament.
Positivity Does Not Mean: Make Yourself Feel Happy All The Time
First of all, I’m human. I have moods that goes up and down and I have feelings. I would be crazy to tell you that you must be happy all the time. That’s just not going to happen.
Too much of this positivity business has been about making yourself feel happy, even though you woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
Focusing on the good things in your life can change your mood. Not going to say it works all the time, but it does help. I think we have gotten away from the idea that we will feel what we will feel every given day, and that has to be okay. You’re going to have an off day / week. That’s life.
But you’re not a failure if you have an off moment in life. It’s about the ups and downs.
Now with that being said, let’s focus on some ways we can focus on some positive things.
I constantly remind myself, how would I feel if I woke up with only the things I was grateful for yesterday. It is a great blessing to wake up in the morning, and honestly, that’s it–wake up in the morning!
To be thankful from the minute you wake up, and plant your legs on the ground can truly alter your thoughts. You don’t think about how you were wronged, or passed over.
You truly acknowledge that everyday is an opportunity to do something new.
As a home maker, and homeschooler, things can go south really quick. You start to look at the lives of other people and fantasize over having a spotless home. But what am I missing? I’m forgetting that I am blessed to be around my kids as they grow. I’m blessed to be able to not just potty train them, but teach them how to read, and add, and teach them life skills.
If I just complained about things I think I “deserved,” I wouldn’t be thankful for the things that I actually have.
Write Thoughts Down In A Journal
Writing is something that I have done for a long time. Slowly, I transitioned to a digital journal, but that didn’t work well for me. There is something about writing thoughts down, by hand that has such a real feeling to it.
We all need to vent, and talk to someone, but there are just times when we just have to work things out for ourselves. This is when writing is so helpful.
There has been so many times when I was able to solve a problem I was facing just by writing things down and writing out my feelings. I don’t loose sleep at night because I calmed my mind.
If you feel comfortable writing things down in a diary, then go for it–if not that’s okay too. I know enough people who destroy their journals after they filled it up. They couldn’t imagine anyone reading their deepest, darkest thoughts or fears.
Its so hard to forgive ourselves of mistakes that we have made. Usually it’s comes from thinking too highly of ourselves. When that happens, we forget that we’re human. Instead, we wonder why did we make a silly mistake and what we were thinking.
Well, we’re going to make mistakes. And make them again. That’s life. The soon we admit that, the betting things will be. We all just want to be at the finished version of ourselves, however, we fail to remember that the path to improvement is messy, and unruly, and full of hardships.
What matters most if continue to strive to be better today than yesterday. These things takes time, and when we do make progress, it will be so slow that we may not notice, but those around us will see the change in us.
Don’t Set Yourself Up for Failure
I’ve had unrealistic expectations–a lot of them. I’d hope for something out of my reach, but never planned to get there. I sometimes gave myself a deadline, and when it came and I haven’t (*surprise*) met that expectation–I was hard on myself.
That would turn my whole mood sour, and I felt sorry for myself, and then the negativity started that I can never do anything right…and blah blah blah.
I know I haven’t been the only one who has done things like this.
I think we know when we’re setting ourselves up, we just don’t want to admit it. Deep down, we all feel we’re that underdog that’s going to rise up out of the ashes and be on top of the world.
Even the underdog in the movies has a montage where they work and plan for the results that they wanted.
We have to work for the things we have in life, and usually that work entails a grind. But if we truly want what we want, then it will be worth it. Not accepting this is setting us up for failure. There are no overnight success stories, usually the people who fulfill their goals took a while to get there, and we are just now seeing their results.
Look, we don’t have to force ourselves to be happy, that’s just not sustainable. But, there are so many ways we can try to focus on the positive things in our lives. I feel that being positive is really a reflective on how we view our life and lot. If you see everything (even the bad) as a way to grow, then nothing can keep you down (for too long).