When my husband and I first met, we began doing a knowledge swap. We would each talk about our traditions and what it meant to us.
This worked great with just trying to know each other, and know our families, but after we were married, we had to know more. Knowing only our traditions was not enough, we needed to understand each other’s history and background. What really made us tick.
So, we began doing a history swap. This made me really excited since I was a African-American & American history major. I still find myself curling up with a good history book on my Nook.
What I have noticed during our sessions is that there is so much that I never knew about my husband’s history, and he was even more surprised when I started to discuss my history with him.
I always try my best not to be biased, and show him all aspects–good and bad, positive and negative–and let him make his own conclusions. I don’t want to steer him in any direction, I think that would be an abuse of knowledge.
Sometimes, he asks me: “With your history, why aren’t you angry?”
“What for?”–is my usual response. Despite obstacles that were put in my family’s way, or a clear glass wall that was set up to be a barrier, my family still did what was necessary to break through those invisible barriers.
So why should I be angry? If anything, I am a walking testament of my parents and their parents will and determination.
But this is not only for me, we are all testaments of our parents will, whether we accept it or not.
For most of us, those barriers are set up to keep you comfortable, or prevent you from going too far.
The worst barriers are the ones we internalize.
However, what most of us don’t realize is that sometimes we set up barriers to stop ourselves. If nothing changes in our lives, it’s because we didn’t make the effort. It’s like wishing to become a great writer, but never picking up a pen.
When I explained this to my husband, he understood. This idea doesn’t only apply to my family making improvements with every generation, but its something that can be applied to everyone as well.
Can’t complain about the direction you’re heading if you’re not willing to steer the ship.
Every generation has barriers to break; so everyday, I try my best to recognize mine and break through them the best way I know how. On the surface, I know that I’m doing it for me to move forward, but I am doing it so that my daughter would not have to go through the same obstacles.
So how do we break these barriers?
- 1. Write down just one of your goals.
2. Make a list of doubt–all the reasons why you think you can’t go through with your goal.
3. Turn that list of doubt into a list of done, by checking off or crossing off each doubt that you acted upon.
It may take time, but life is not always about the destination, it’s about the journey.
What steps do you take to break through your barriers?
This post has been linked with Sisters from Another Mister, Timetravel Tuesday