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Are We Really A Society That Hates Children?

Image Source: carulmare via Flickr

This is a touchy subject, one that I am going to try to approach with care.

I’ve read in the news and else where that there has been a trend to ban children from places, or charge families extra for bringing their children along to a restaurant.

In the most part, the reason is babies (and little kids) makes a lot of messes (and noise)–I get that, but the underlying result seems to be: ostracize the next generation when they are young.

In the parenting section in the book store, there are tons of books on how to control kids–in short, how to make them act like us. Something that we approve of.

There has also been a misconception that children are getting away with things that they shouldn’t (okay some are, but really not all). Are hating on the little ones who are really just carving out their place in the world really worth it?

Nope, so the attack on parents begin. “Parents should know better than to take their child here.” I think I’ve read it all. What about that single mother who has literally no one to watch their kids?

They work, they go to school, and they need to buy groceries, people actually expect her to walk out of the store and wait until a next time to get food? Really, is there an actual next time?

I understand that people don’t like other people’s children, BUT what about a sense of, “Ah, I know what that person’s going though.” Or, “They seem to have their hands full, let’s just move away.”

Every day, I wonder what kind of world am I raising my child in. A society that obviously NEEDS the next generation, but unwilling to recognize that the generation needs time to grow up.

(Of course when society pushes too hard, we are appalled — crotches panties for tweens anyone?)

Kids can pick up on things. They know who likes them and who doesn’t. They know when they’re not wanted, they also learn (from our example) that this is how you treat other children.

Now, I’m not only in defense of parents. As parents, we know when we’re taking our children out of their element, to a new experience. We know when our kids are about to have a melt down and we have to decide how to handle it.

Perhaps as a society we no longer have tolerance for anything that appears to annoy us, even if we have the power to decide if it really annoys us.

We try to teach our children fairness. Not to exclude. Accept people for who they are. Understand why a person is acting like that (a baby is crying, maybe they’re hungry), we try to teach them not to judge.

Then when they grow up, they learn that those things were all lies. Adults don’t do what they teach. Society, which is made up of rules of do’s and don’t, don’t really care about the message that is being said.

Children of the next generation…what are you really learning from our actions? I’m honestly afraid to know.

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The Lost of Empathy in Society - Blogging While NursingSteshaCamMangoChutneyMichelle Recent comment authors
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MrsTDJ
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I can admit that before I became a mother, I was far less tolerant of the noise that children brought to a scene. I can’t even lie and say that I’d never given a mother THAT look when a baby wouldn’t stop crying. Now? Whew, I understand being on the other side. Although I haven’t had any situations yet with my son, I understand. I try to nod or make eye contact and give a small smile to parents who are having a moment with their children. I think there is a difference between children being in places that the… Read more »

kita
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I would never take my children out to a nice nice restaurant because I know that I would want to enjoy myself in peace. Now I do take my kids to places like chilli’s and red lobster because I feel they are more family friendly. I get dirty looks all the time but I pay them no attention usually my kids are decent.I don’t know why people act like kids don’t act out at times. They are kids and kids have to learn how to sit still in any environment how else will they learn.

Mimi
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Mimi

I think some of the problem comes when parents don’t know when to remove their children from a situation. There is a thin line between infringing on other people’s rights when it comes to dining and the like. I know when my children have had enough. Even if that means I didn’t get done all I needed I am not going to keep them out to the point they are crying and screaming. I think this has attributed somewhat to some of the attitudes that people have adopted when it comes to children in public places. I am not saying… Read more »

Kim
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I’m a single mother so when I go out my kids go with me which is why I rarely go to adult only places. There can be times when I want to have a nice dinner at a restaurant and the only way I can (usually) is to take my girls with me. I would hope not to get dirty looks but I wouldn’t care as long as my children aren’t disturbing others then it shouldn’t matter. There has been times when I was in places and my baby would “act out” and I would leave not to disturb or… Read more »

DaenelT
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I agree with Mimi, the problem really stems from parents not knowing when to tap the mat and call it quits. I’ve seen too many parents sit and watch their kid go from table to table in restaurants or play hide-n-seek in the clothing racks – its annoying. I have 4 kids, so I understand that kids do things but a lot of the stuff that kids do is within the parents’ ability to control. I don’t think it’s anti-parent or anti-child to have “no children” zones, I think it shows respect for people who want to have a nice… Read more »

Latorsha
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Latorsha

For Valentine’s Day my husband made reservations at a very NICE restaurant and I confess I didn’t want children to be anywhere near me. Thank goodness it was just couples. I looked forward to a nice evening without hearing anyone call the name “mommy”. When we do take our son out we go to restaurants that are kid friendly and usually there are tons of other kids there too. Red Robin is a good example of this. I do understand couples want to go to nicer places with their kids, but you do have to know your limits. Some kids… Read more »

Michelle
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While society may not be to the hate level yet, the vast majority has become intolerable when it comes to young children. I see your point because intolerance can grow into hatred if the issues aren’t addressed and dealt with. I’ve gotten the looks in Wal-Mart when my son gets a little too excited or my daughter starts wailing because she got startled. I, typically, will make eye contact and say something like “gotta love kiddos! wanna trade places for a bit?” Usually I get a laugh or smile from the person and just keep moving. As for restaurants, if… Read more »

MangoChutney
Guest

I definitely see your point. I think that this generation of children is more or less..going down. Their closing school left and right, cutting education budgets, doing the whole “charging extra” in places. I did daycare for a thousand years and it’s really the parents who we can’t stand. The kids unfrotunately are the product of their kids. I normally didn’t have too many problems with the kids it was the parents I had to move out of the way. Maybe those are the ones we blame for not liking kids in resturants( not me personally) because they don’t give… Read more »

Cam
Guest

I’ve heard about all these new rules excluding children. It’s a little disturbing. I get that people don’t want to be bothered with children at nice restaurants but the grocery store thing just took it over the top for me. I’m not sure why people dislike kids so much. We all used to be one!

Stesha
Guest

Kalley, I’m very grateful that you wrote this post. My husband and I always discuss how un-family friendly many places are. We’re a large family so we always garnish unwanted attention. That’s weird in itself. Our children are very well behaved most places we go. But no matter what people stare at us when we enter, as if our family, mainly the children will disrupt the environment. We deal with servers who are quick to rush our orders because they don’t want the other patrons to have an unpleasant experience. What about our family’s experience? We’ve had plenty of adults… Read more »

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