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Back in June, I wrote a post about telling the truth about fictional characters: Santa, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, and if I was seriously deciding to encourage the fictional characters.
I think now I’ve come to a conclusion (which is subject to change as Zee gets older). I am not going to discourage her imagination.
In this world, we choose to believe in something: actual justice, pursuit of happiness, trickle down effect, so who am I to take that away from her?
Zee will have plenty of time in the future to learn how this wold really is. She’ll learn the great joy that this world can produce, and great sorrow that we inflict on others. I don’t feel that lesson has to start now.
When I originally wrote about this, I didn’t know how much she’ll understand of Christmas. I didn’t want her to walk away with grand ideas that someone who she doesn’t know, will never disappoint her. That’s a tall order to live up to.
I try to teach her that everyone is capable of mistakes and getting mad. No one is immune to getting hurt, and our actions will affect others (whether we realize it or not).
But instead of looking back on my childhood and the many stories I was told about St. Nicholas (from he’ll sit on you if you wake up in the middle of night on Christmas all the way to when you get really hot at night, Santa’s mad).
Harmless little lies that parents tell just to get their way for now may seem like you’re winning, but those are some of the memories children walk away with.
It wasn’t until a few days ago that I realize that I am the one who is showing her what Christmas is about. I am the one who is helping her shape her Christmas memories. Together as a family, we are creating new ones–happier ones.
So while I will never lie to her who Santa is, I won’t burst her bubble either.
She will be on her own journey, to discover truth from lies, facts from fictions, and there are conclusions that she will have to reach on her own.
My role? To hold her hand (for as long as she’ll have me) while she is taking those steps.
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I think kids learn by what we teach them. My son has lost 3 teeth so far and he knows nothing about the tooth fairy because we don’t say anything about it. Santa he learned in school and one day he will find out the truth. Unlike my mom who did not hold my hand (she always told me to stop believing everything I hear) I will hold my kids hand while they discover their world in their eyes.
You’re so right Kita, kids will learn what we teach them. I guess one of the lessons is indulging in a kid’s imagination. I think it will be fun experiencing things through a kids point of view once again. I think as an adult, we’ll enjoy it more.
Good post here! I must say I never was told any of them stories when I was younger then again I never believe in him. But you made good points Kalley! Hope You Have A Bless Merry Christmas! God Bless You! Can’t wait to see the new look of your blog after Christmas!
Thank you Poetic Journey! It was hard for my parents to sell me on the idea of Santa, and it didn’t really work.
I wish you a very Merry Christmas!
Really enjoyed this post! We will do some of the things but not all. So far with Santa our son is having so much fun and I do believe these memories will be happy ones. 🙂 we definitely won’t try to force him to believe and will be truthful and forth coming when he starts to question what is real. And we do explain that the season is NOT about just Santa.
well said! I don’t do Santa, but if my daughter showed interest I wouldn’t burst her bubble. I’d incorporate him as a story or something, but stop short of telling her she has to be good or else he won’t bring her gifts at Christmas
Thank you Teresha! I just didn’t want to take all the fun out of it, but like you said, I won’t tell her she has to be good for her gifts. She’ll know exactly which of our family members gave her the gifts.