I looked into the mirror and saw a wiry strand sticking up. When did it get here? How long has it been here for? WHY haven’t I noticed before?
We all get older right? Grey hair is just part of it. But with dreadlocks, I’m supposed to have more time!! (In my very whiny voice).
Breathe in. Breathe out.
*I take that grey hair, and wrap it in the nearest dreadlock.*
Whew. Crisis averted.
No need to call in the national guards.
I can go on pretending that I didn’t see it.
I’m guessing that the stray strand wouldn’t be the first one I will be ignoring over next few months and years. It just took me by surprise because….well, I don’t see myself as old.
Grey hair is associated with older folks right?! But I’m in my 30s, I’m not old, right? I feel like I did when I was 15 (although a lot has changed…thank you gravity). I guess by the grey, I am *older.* Hmm….
As much as I joke and kid about my grey mane (yes, that’s me trying to make it sound cool), I’m relieved actually. I don’t mind the idea of getting older. I’m actually fine with it. One would think that I would head straight towards my locticition and get my hair colored, but I don’t want to do that. Besides, have you seen black, white, grey locks on women )? They look positively beautiful! (Check Pinterest here!)
When looking at my grey hair (only a single strand because I’m ignoring the rest), I’m coming to terms with the life that I am living and loving it!
1. I am proud that I make my own decisions.
Back when I was a girl (yes even in my 20s) it was hard making decisions. I would always want to make sure everyone else was okay with what I decided. But that has changed. No one’s opinions matter to me anymore. I wear what I want to wear, and the self-conscienceness that I have felt has all but melted away. I don’t like heels, I enjoy flat shoes. I don’t like shorts much, but I love skirts and dresses. I would always choose sensible and modesty over fashion (no hot shorts for me this summer!)–but that’s my preference. No problems with anyone who wants to dress differently.
As for self-image: I’m happy for my body because it has gotten me this far, and I will continue to cherish it because I hope it will get my further. I will take care of it as I continue to age.
2. My family life is where I want it to be, and I wouldn’t change anything.
I LOVE being a stay at home mom and a homeschooling mother. I always though that I had to try to find some work when the kids are ready for school. But knowing that we homeschool, just makes everything sweeter. I don’t know when my family will stop homeschooling, but when we do, I’ll be a housewife. I love it. I’m happy by it. I love to make our place a home for my family. (Which is not very easy to do these days with all the demands and pressures on women.)
But just because I am home that doesn’t mean that I don’t work. I know my role, value and contribution to my family. I work from the minute I wake up until the time I go to sleep. Most of the time it takes me a few days to write one blog post because I’m writing it on the go. And, when I do get a chance to read the blogs that I follow, I get a chance to sit down (if I’m lucky enough) and actually read it.
3. I want and desire less.
Who would have thought that over the course of a few years that my “wants” would change completely. There are things that I know I can live without, and even if I never get it, I’m okay with it. I have a wish list like everyone else, but I’m not working on obtaining those items. Deep down I know they are just items. It won’t make me happier, help me do my job better, they are just things. The things that I want most: love, friendship, to be cherished, is what I have now, and that didn’t cost me anything.
There are countless other things that I am thankful for and very happy with! My faith has grown stronger since I started homeschooling my daughter. Since I’m raising her in the Catholic faith, I love how everything is explained in a way that children can understand it. Catholics usually get a bad rap from other Christian faiths, but most of that is due to lack of knowledge about Catholicism.
Either way, I’m at that moment in life that everything is as it should it. It’s not perfect, and its far from calm, but I’m okay with it.
I’ll accept it, just as it is.
Do you have grey hair? When did you first notice it? Are you okay okay going grey, or would (do) you color your hair to cover?