It has been a while since I posted on my site. All this time, I’ve tried to figure out where I fit in this blogging world, and what is it I should “focus” on. However, that just seemed to be my problem. I just wanted to focus on “something” that after a while, I stopped liking to write and blog.
Blogging sure has changed….
Blogging has surly changed since I started back in 2009. Back in the day — that sounds so old — but anyway, back in the day, blogging was about community. Reaching out to others and reminding yourself that you’re still in the world. I always like to think of it as Dr. Seuss book, Horton Hears a Who. Towards the end of the book, the Who’s have to make as much noise as possible to let people know that they are on the flower, and they want to live. When I started blogging a long time ago, blogging was for me, as the flower that held the Who’s world.
I wasn’t oblivious to the changes that was happening around me though. Slowly, I saw that the people whom I followed started to look for ways to make money online. Still that wasn’t me. I just wanted to “connect” with people. I enjoyed blogging just for the sure pleasure of writing, and it was a way to decompress my thoughts. Again, things were changing back in 2014, but I didn’t want to focus on it. I was just convinced that I needed to find my place in this changing blogosphere. I wasn’t wrong, but that search would cause me to go down some lonely holes.
Striving for An Authentic Voice, But Feeling Like a Fake
Ouch. Yeah, I just said that. It was always about “authority” and finding a “niche.” I was always looking for a square peg to insert my circle. I was trying so hard to sound authentic, that I didn’t recognize my voice anymore. It wasn’t until I joined in with other bloggers, and wrote a post about the Sacrament of Confession. That post, although a prompt, helped me find my love for writing agin, and at the same time, to talk about something that I am passionate about–my faith.
Everywhere I searched online, I always seem to read that blogs are supposed to help people solve a problem. That you are supposed to know your stuff, and come off as if you know it. Well, honestly I am always a student of life. I do not (and will not) claim to know everything it teaches. I’m always surprised about the things around me, and amazed at how little things can make a huge difference.
But going back, when I was striving for that “authentic” voice, it just didn’t feel like me. It didn’t look like me, and it didn’t dress like me. Overall, going back to my roots is what prompted me to write this post in the first place. Too often we (and I honestly mean I) try to write for the future audience that we want. Instead, I need to write about what I need to write about, and those are things that make my heart sing. Trying to write for future people, is like worrying about things that could come (and I do enough worrying already).
So, what can we expect from now on?
I think from now on, I’m going to put myself forward. I’ve learned so much about myself in the past two years, that I’ve honestly grown as a person. I’m not (fully) into vain things anymore–although I have new hobbies that are challenging and yet satisfying at the same time.
I like to be involved in my parish life, so I will be writing about that as well. I love the events that my parish hosts, and there is always something new going on, like the first Latin Mass at my parish in over 50 years (!!) and the International Rosary night that we had as well. These are things that you’ll see more of as well.
Also, I read a ton of books! I don’t read them all quickly to just read them and say done. I try to read my slowly, and intentional, so that I can absorb what it is that I’m reading. From time to time, you may read about my musings from the many books that I read (most if not all of them are spiritual), and of course some inspiration from the Bible.
I don’t write about it often here, but I home school as well. It started with just home school with my oldest daughter, now my middle son is doing Pre-K and well, that’s my life now as well. I love my family, and I love spending time with them, but I haven’t talked that much about them, so I’m hoping to change that as well.
I think, finally, motherhood. Long gone are the days when I only worried about taking care of a young age group. I now have 3 kids under 10, and one of those kids are just a year old. My mommy hat, and patience has been stretched very far, and I believe I would like share with you the challenges that I face. Such as, how do I get prayer time in, and how can I work with so many personalities without getting annoyed. These are just a few off my head.
What does it mean to grow?
Growth to me means moving forward. It is a means to experience life in the now and recognize how that now was different from your now 7 years ago. Sometimes, that could also mean letting go things of the past. No longer worrying about how things were and just accept what is. It’s been some time that I sat down and really thought about this. No doubt that I’m always going to evolve, but now, this is where I’m at.
The great thing about growing, is changing, and seeing what works, and what doesn’t work. Fix the things that doesn’t work well, or finally make a decision to move on with out it. Either way, I’m good where I’m at, and hoping to ride this wave for a while.
I hope you’re looking forward to the changes, and that you’ll enjoy about reading about my quiet, life.