A few weeks ago, I casually mentioned that I felt freedom within constraints.
I threw it out there, and I intrigued some of you as to what that meant. Let me give you an idea of a typical end of month conversation with Mr. C.
Mr C — Did you see the bill, you spent so much this month.
Me — It’s not like I went to town, the kids needed (list the items the kids need)
Mr. C — But still it’s a lot.
Me — What do you consider a lot?
Mr C — This! (Shows me the bill)
::blank stare::
Me — What can I do to help?
Me C — Spend less.
::blank stare::
Me — It’s for the kids!
Mr. C — If it’s for the kids, just get what they need.
::Now I’m confused::
Which prompts me to get what they need, to have this conversation over and over again at the end of every month.
Finally I told him give me an amount of allowable funds so that I can get what I need with that, and you won’t have to have this painful conversation with me.
This January we saw eye to eye and made our first budget.
I understand that families have been doing this for ages. It’s how you can survive feeding 20 kids on one salary (okay, maybe not 20 but a simple family of 4).
The minute it went into place, a huge pressure was relieved from my shoulders and I was finally able to breathe.
No more painful conversations, or worrying about the bill getting too high! I have an amount that I can make work and then some.
It’s going to sound funny when I say this, but I LOVE budgets!
It allows me to do the following:
- Challenge Myself. A natural thrill for me to take a set amount of funds and watch it grow. In this case, when I budget well I can end up purchasing the things that I want, that would otherwise be too expensive (Macro lens here I come!–In about a few months, but still! Here I come! :-))
- Taking Control. I like to be in control. Period. Yes, it can be a problem sometimes, but it’s how I function. It was hard to let Mr. C. Be the primary breadwinner (was raised that we women need to be self-reliant). I am the only one who purchases household items, and the food–it only makes sense for me to be in charge for the budget of it. Now that I am, I know what I can get now and postpone the things I can’t to later.
- Plan More Efficiently. Being in charge of the budget also means I’m in charge of the entertainment budget as well. That means, if I plan well, we could be doing a lot more things. That’s a win-win in my situation!
- Set Priorities. This is going to be a tough one because I have been known to order nail polish online or some beauty product, I really have to determine if the purchase is worth it (that does include my Macro lens–so not liking that full circle idea…)
While I can find freedom in budgets, I realize that my freedom extends far more than that.
You see, you can have freedom–physically, without constrains and yet still be constricted mentally.
It’s the idea of running around like a chicken with no head or an idea with no plan. It can’t work.
Budgeting has allowed me to finally ask myself–Does this fit in my core values? Does this benefit me or my loved ones?
If the answer is no–then that’s it.
I move on.
Simple right?
I’ve been applying this to my home and to how I decide to make purchases. This alone as allowed to extend it far more into my life other than purchases, it’s being ingrained in my way of life and making all life decisions.
Millions of questions that can go through my head are reduced to a few short questions.
With budgeting as the catalyst, I found freedom within constraints.
Do you budget in your household? Do you find it’s easier to work with one than without?
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I have been trying to implement a budget for years but the Mr. always says that he likes to have certain things for working hard (which I understand). Our issue is not so much excessive spending but certain channels and brands of products. LOL Now that we are trying to look into home buying, a budget will be absolutely necessary. There will be no way around that. This post was right on time.
My hubby was the same way for a while. It took time to convince him, but it’s works wonders for us. The problem that we had was him not knowing how much it really cost to run a household (even though he saw the bills), and his expectation that it should be done so cheap. But diapers and food adds up quick–especially if there are second helpings…
Kalley I love the ‘simplicity’ of this post, yet the seriousness of it that goes to all of us. I admit that I have not quite gotten to the point where I go by a budget. Unlike you, I am at the stage of singleness, yet it would be a great idea to ‘prepare’ myself and start working on a budget so that I shop for what I need as opposed to what I want. Great post!
Thank you Yvonne. It took a while to get to this point as well. But I know that a budget will also help me put things aside for insurance. It’s sad to admit it, but I need to start a life insurance policy–like yesterday.
Yes and no to the budget. When I get paid, that weekend I balance the checkbook, pay all the bills, and then put a certain percentage into savings. I figure out how much I need for groceries and gas, etc. If there is anything left over then we have fun money. If nothing is left over then we know we have the money to eat and stuff. I guess that’s a budget. But since I started doing it instead of my husband since I’m the one that works, things are a lot less stressful for me as well. I totally get you on this one.
Yup! That’s a budget too! It is so much easier handling it, especially if you are the main spender in the home.
I actually like budgets too, but I have a non-budget budget. I guess Im a creature of habit. I buy the same things and do the same things so I spend the same amount by default. When that occasional unexpected need arise…if it’s within reason, I can handle it because all the other time I’m within my range.
I lol’d at the convo with the hubs. I have similar convo’s about just about everything w my hubs. They don’t always get it. Gotta love ’em 🙂
Hahaha, you’re right! Sometimes they don’t get it. The other night he asked why I spend so much on food. I looked at him and said, “Who just put more food his plate?” That ended the conversation.
Budgeting is awesome. I have not applied it to myself enough and your post is a motivation to me.
I am a big fan of budgets and use them regularly. I have line items for everything you can imagine. It helps me feel at ease with my spending. I’m glad you and the hubs are seeing eye to eye. That is so good. As I understand, finances are one of the top reasons ppl end up getting divorced.
Very good point about the stats! Yup, it’s much easier now. I had a range in my mind, but it’s so much better to work with actuals.