Yesterday, as I was latching, twisting, and pinning my dreadlocks down, I realize that I wasn’t doing anything that the hair gurus had been teaching.
A long time ago, I know I would have; I would have hung on their every word.
Run away from mineral oil? Check. Only use olive oil. Check. Buy expensive shampoos. Check.
I did these things, thinking it was the best decision for me. So when I had a reaction to one of the shampoos and locking butter, I ignored it, thinking, “It’s the best, no way I’m reacting to it!”
Over time we become product junkies. We keep buying different things fearing that we will be missing out on something better. We do this even when something we are using is working for us.
But this fear of losing out is real. We can sense it when we debate with ourselves to go to a party, an event, or a social gathering. We don’t want to lose out on an experience, even if that experience doesn’t necessarily help us grow.
My hair has taught me a few lessons on life so far.
Let go and do what works. It’s okay if everyone is doing it the “right way.” We have to let go of the idea of what is the right way, and wrong way. Just because we are doing something differently, doesn’t always mean we are doing it wrong. The right way for me may not be the right way for you.
Stop searching for perfection. We have a fear of missing out. Sometimes, decisions are had to make because we don’t want to feel like we made the wrong one. Also, deep down we believe that if we spend a little more time on something, we’ll find something that’s better, even more perfect than what we have already.
Well, the truth is, in life there will always be something better out there. But do we want to waste our resources (time and money) on something that’s perfect? Or would we rather put that energy into getting something done. We must learn to be okay with our decisions and know it’s the best decision that we could make when given our resources.
It takes time to see change. We always hear how it never happens over night, but when you do finally notice it, it’s sweet and and a great surprise. Nothing can give you a better lesson. When I started my dreadlocks journey, my hair was short, like an inch long. I kept looking at other people dreadlocks and saying to myself I would never get there. I had to stop that thinking and let go. I had to let my hair do what it needs to do, and I just need to keep my head down and keep moving forward. This especially applies to weight loss and habit changing.
Leave judgment at the door. In our lives, we have different goals and priorities. There is no shame in us beginning our journey late, or after everyone else. We begin when we’re ready. One person’s journey is not better or worse than the next person. When we stop passing judgment on each other, the better we can respect one another.
We can’t expect anyone else to make the same decisions as us. Our conclusions are just that, we can share them but by no means is it the way things ought to be. Just like hair on my head is different from the hair on your head, our decisions are going to be different. We all want to cross the finish line, but some of us are going to run, others, will walk, and some of us has to crawl, but we’ll get there.
One of the most debilitating things we can do in life, is second guess ourselves. Just know that if you make your decisions with a clear head, and think things through (and don’t forget to pray) then it is the best decision for you and your family.
Don’t second guess yourself. Don’t sell yourself short.
Which one of these hair lessons do you subscribe to? Which one do you need to focus more in your lives?