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5 Hair Lessons on Life

Posted by on April 8, 2014 in Musings | 29 comments

Yesterday, as I was latching, twisting, and pinning my dreadlocks down, I realize that I wasn’t doing anything that the hair gurus had been teaching.

A long time ago, I know I would have; I would have hung on their every word.

Run away from mineral oil? Check. Only use olive oil. Check. Buy expensive shampoos. Check.

I did these things, thinking it was the best decision for me. So when I had a reaction to one of the shampoos and locking butter, I ignored it, thinking, “It’s the best, no way I’m reacting to it!”

Over time we become product junkies. We keep buying different things fearing that we will be missing out on something better. We do this even when something we are using is working for us.

But this fear of losing out is real. We can sense it when we debate with ourselves to go to a party, an event, or a social gathering. We don’t want to lose out on an experience, even if that experience doesn’t necessarily help us grow.

My hair has taught me a few lessons on life so far.

5-hair-Lessons

Let go and do what works.  It’s okay if everyone is doing it the “right way.” We have to let go of the idea of what is the right way, and wrong way.  Just because we are doing something differently, doesn’t always mean we are doing it wrong.  The right way for me may not be the right way for you.

Stop searching for perfection.  We have a fear of missing out. Sometimes, decisions are had to make because we don’t want to feel like we made the wrong one.  Also, deep down we believe that if we spend a little more time on something, we’ll find something that’s better, even more perfect than what we have already.  

Well, the truth is, in life there will always be something better out there. But do we want to waste our resources (time and money) on something that’s perfect? Or would we rather put that energy into getting something done. We must learn to be okay with our decisions and know it’s the best decision that we could make when given our resources. 

It takes time to see change.  We always hear how it never happens over night, but when you do finally notice it, it’s sweet and and a great surprise. Nothing can give you a better lesson.  When I started my dreadlocks journey, my hair was short, like an inch long.  I kept looking at other people dreadlocks and saying to myself I would never get there.  I had to stop that thinking and let go. I had to let my hair do what it needs to do, and I just need to keep my head down and keep moving forward.  This especially applies to weight loss and habit changing.  

Leave judgment at the door.  In our lives, we have different goals and priorities. There is no shame in us beginning our journey late, or after everyone else. We begin when we’re ready.  One person’s journey is not better or worse than the next person.  When we stop passing judgment on each other, the better we can respect one another.

We can’t expect anyone else to make the same decisions as us.  Our conclusions are just that, we can share them but by no means is it the way things ought to be. Just like hair on my head is different from the hair on your head, our decisions are going to be different. We all want to cross the finish line, but some of us are going to run, others, will walk, and some of us has to crawl, but we’ll get there. 

Right decisions for me may not be the right one for you.

Right decisions for me may not be the right one for you.

 

One of the most debilitating things we can do in life, is second guess ourselves.  Just know that if you make your decisions with a clear head, and think things through (and don’t forget to pray) then it is the best decision for you and your family.  

Don’t second guess yourself.  Don’t sell yourself short.

Which one of these hair lessons do you subscribe to?  Which one do you need to focus more in your lives? 

 

Kalley C

I am a writer, a thinker, a mother, a woman, AND a homeschooling mom. Everything rolled into one. I write about life, family, faith and love. Most importantly, I write about life's events and what lesson they teach.

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29 Comments

  1. Probably stop searching for perfection I want things to be perfect especially when it comes to my hair it’s one of my best assets and one thing I can rock even when my body is not what I would like it to be. If my hair looks good I feel confident.
    Kita recently posted…How to Add Relaxing Window Seats to Your OfficeMy Profile

    • I think that is one of the hardest ones to live by, one that I’m still learning daily. I totally understand you about having your hair look good and feeling confident. If it is put together, and we like it, we rock it because love it!

  2. “Stop searching for perfection” is probably the one thing I need to fully embrace! If my hair is not in a “perfect” state I can’t even look at it! Which is why you can catch me wearing a hat 90% of the time.
    Christina recently posted…Sweet Potato CornbreadMy Profile

    • My dreads has those moments too, which is why I love wearing head wraps!

  3. I learned while my hair was first locking that going with the flow is a good mantra. And stop looking for perfection. If you leave well enough alone, somethimes, everything will flourish and grow exactly how it is supposed to.
    Side note: I really need to learn how to latch my own hair. I’m tired of paying other folks to do it!

    • Oh yes, going with the flow is so important when growing dreads. There are times that we want it to happen faster, or look like the next person, but we just have to let it be.

      I’ll send you over a few resouces to check out on latching your own hair. Once I learned how to do it, it saved us serious money! I can now use that money for other things that matter.

  4. The lesson for me wold be, ‘stop searching for perfection.’ The one that I need to work on is, ‘it takes time to see change.’ And just as you said, nothing happens over night. :)
    Yvonne I. Wilson recently posted…9 Uplifting Bible Quotes for When You Are Hurting and Need ComfortMy Profile

    • I think the taking time to see change is very hard because we all want things right now. Waiting for change slowly reminds us that not everything can be done on our time. Some things really have their own time. :-)

  5. I’m really embracing the #3 — realizing that change takes time. And, not only does it take time, but consistency and focus. I’ve learned that through not only growing my hair out, but from the 3 marathons I’ve run. I didn’t see results in a day and I can’t expect that from other facets of life. Thanks for the reminder!
    Jennifer Kennedy recently posted…The Secret to Embracing OverwhelmMy Profile

    • You are so right about the consistency and focus! We forget that things don’t happen overnight. Great for you for running 3 marathons! To do that, you had to train, and that in itself took time :-)

  6. Wow! All of these resonate! I think I especially am one to get stuck on what everyone else is doing rather than focusing on what my hair needs. I watch and follow many hair vloggers with hair that looks like mine, so naturally, I assume that whatever works for them should work for me, right? Ha! Not usually. I’m learning this over and over with time.
    Jessica recently posted…Letting Things GoMy Profile

    • I know exactly what you’re talking about! I also follow a lot of hair bloggers on youtube and I have to keep reminding myself that I have to adjust, or do it differently, because what works for them will not work for me. It’s one of those lessons that we are learning on a daily basis.

  7. My theme this week has totally been to stop searching for perfection. I’ve been reminded of this at every turn. I need to focus on making progress instead of making things perfect.
    Camesha recently posted…You only THINK you can’tMy Profile

  8. The one that jumps out to me the most is that it takes time to see change. I think with a couple of areas, professionally, personally, blogging, weight loss–all of it takes a certain amount of time and a whole lot of consistency and perseverance.

    • Very true Nellie! Especially in the weight loss department, time and consistency and perseverance is what’s needed for change to come. But when it does come, the victory is very sweet!

  9. It is amazing the lessons we can learn from our hair! Stopping by from The Friday Five. Have a wonderful weekend!
    Joanne Viola recently posted…Of Belonging, Beauty, & FriendshipMy Profile

    • I agree Joanne! Thank you so much for stopping by my blog. :-)

  10. What a clever and inspiring post! I clicked onto the link via SITS Girls because the “hair” part caught my eye; I just chopped my superlong hair off the other day and it resonated. But I love how you wove the whole “FOMO” thing into your hair journey. It’s true that we often compare ourselves to others, even with something as simple as a hairstyle (i’m currently second guessing my cut because it doesn’t match the image I had up on pinterest-oy!), and in the process, we hold ourselves back from experiencing our journey at our own pace. That’s something I continue to struggle with on a daily basis- how to embrace where I am in life at the moment without criticism or regret. Thank you for an amazing post and for that reminder. Have a wonderful weekend! :-)
    Maribel recently posted…Thankful Thursday: Anger Isn’t Always BadMy Profile

    • Congratulations to you, Maribel, on our new hair cut! I know that a change like that needs to take time to get used to–especially since you had super long hair!

      It’s hard to experience things at our own pace, especially if we see everyone going faster than we are (or we think they are going faster than we are).

      I hope that you are able to find your pace and enjoy things on your own time. I hope you have a great weekend, and thank you so much for stopping by! :-)

  11. Great reminders here! So glad I found your blog on Sits share fest this morning!! Have a wonderful weekend!
    Lauren recently posted…Weekend Breakfast SurprisesMy Profile

    • Thank you Lauren, I hope you have a great week! :-) Thank you for stopping by!

  12. All of the above! I used to be such a perfectionist…I have kind of given up on that. Sometimes things just have to be good enough!
    Michelle recently posted…Dishing Out Where I Really Want to Live, Go-To Recipes, and More #AAFMy Profile

    • I so agree with you Michelle! It’s hard trying to do things perfectly, it so much unnecessary pressure! Sometimes, things just have to be good enough, and that’s okay!

  13. “Stop searching for perfection” Oooh, I’m guilty of that one. Always thinking that there must be some product out there that will just make my hair look even better….instead of being content with what I have.
    Rachel G recently posted…The Envelope System: Marriage EditionMy Profile

    • I’m with you on that one Rachel! I have had so many hair products that:
      1. I never seemed to finish it.
      2. I’m always spending money on the next best thing.

      I told myself no more. What I’m doing is working, and there is no need to change it unless what I’m doing stops working :-)

      It’s just one of those lessons that we all need to be reminded of.

  14. It takes time to see change. Lord knows how I need to have this drummed into my skull! Thanks for the reminder, Kalley!

    • You’re very welcome Alison! That is something that I need to be reminded of all the time. :-)

  15. Kalley, if only you could see me nodding in agreement as I read along. These are such great life lessons you have gleaned from hair.

  16. “Leave judgement at the door.” That is something I am very eager to learn!!!! patsy
    patsy recently posted…PPF: The Most Amazing Love!My Profile

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