We are going to start this series with the mother of all the Deadly Sins–Pride. Why would we consider pride as the mother of all? Well it is pride that usually leads us down the slippery slope of all the other vices.
When I first thought of pride, I always would think of someone who was full of themselves. The image that conjured in my mind was of a person who head was up, nose in the air, and they thought highly of themselves.
In the movie Seven, they depicted pride as the woman who had to choose between calling for help (after her nose was cut off) or taking her life. As you can guess, she took her own life with sleeping pills.
What Is Pride?
- pride noun \ΛprΔ«de
: a feeling that you respect yourself and deserve to be respected by other people: a feeling that you are more important or better than other people
: a feeling of happiness that you get when you or someone you know does something good, difficult, etc.
Now, there isn’t anything wrong with liking yourself. After all, it should start with the self right? Pride is inordinate self-love. In other words: your reality becomes skewed and shifted. You start to believe that you are the source of the greatness that you have. This then leads to you thinking that you’re actually greater or important than you actually are.
Here are the sins of pride:
- Vanity
- narcissism
- Failure to give credit to others
- An excessive of self-love
- Exaggerated sense of self.
Pride is wanting to be above and ahead of everyone, simply to be ahead and above everyone. Ultimately, it sets us in competition with God and with others.
The Uncommon List of Pride
- Timidness
- Shyness
- self-consciousness
These other traits are forms of pride because we find ourselves paralyzed by the opinion of others. We stop ourself from doing or saying something, fearing and knowing we are not the best at it, or it will be less than perfect. We begin to seek the approval of others in what we say or do.
But Really, Self Consciousness?
When I first came to the second list, I was taken aback. I mean, I have been self-consciousness for a long time. For example, I used to be afraid to wear a certain shirts or have the gall to walk out in summer without my toes painted. Yes, I do that (they have been manicured, just not painted).
For years I was tormented by the thought of what other would think of me, worst yet, not just think but what they would say! Growing up, people were not afraid to tell you when you were stepping out of their comfort zones. This usually meant saying things at you or doing things to you until you got back in [their] line.
But, I had never perceived shyness or being timid a form of pride. After much reflecting, I can see the truth in it.
If we hold the opinion of others in such a high regard, that even when we know we are doing right (or no injustice to anyone), but steer towards doing wrong (or not accepting ourselves), it is our pride (in this case fear as well) that paralyzes us.
Who is Prone to the Vice of Pride?
I can safely say that the image of the haughty man has been laid to rest. And I’ll be honest, I struggled with myself as I was writing this post. I even questioned myself if I should even start this series, since I’m sure it has been said before, and maybe said even better. But I’m okay with that now.
Here are some great points from Saint Josemaria Escriva to help us find out if Pride is our vice:
- “Thinking that what you do or say is better than what others do or say;
- Always wanting to get your own way;
- Arguing when you are not right or β when you are β insisting stubbornly or with bad manners;
- Giving your opinion without being asked for it, when charity does not demand you to do so;
- Despising the point of view of others;
- Making excuses when rebuked;
- Refusing to carry out menial tasks;
- Being ashamed of not having certain possessions.”
(St. Josemaria Escriva, was the founder of Opus Dei)
To combat pride, one must practice humility.
It does take a lot of self-reflection to decide if pride is your main vice. Sometimes, we have to ask someone who knows and love us very well to help us find this out. But once we know what our main vice is, we’ll be on our way to becoming a better person.
Now that you know this information, how will this change the way you think of yourself? What will you do with this information?
This post has been added to the link up: #WorthRevist hosted by Theology is a Verb and Reconciled to You.
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This is deep. I have to really sit down and think about it. Especially the shyness part.
I felt the same way when I started reading about this as well. I know the whole series is going to require a lot of thinking and absorbing.
Whoa! That was insightful. I have had an epiphany on what is pride! Thank you, KalleyC. So much to think about…
Have a great rest of the week, friend.
You’re very welcome Jacqueline! I hope you’ll stick around for the next coming weeks for the rest of the series π
The one that was extremely shocking was the point about thinking about what others think of you. I recently decided after a few talks with hubby and prayer to cut off ALL of my extended family and one of the things that I have come to realize is that I was ALWAYS paralyzed by their opinions…..ALWAYS afraid of what they might think and my husband admitted to be how down I would always seem after a conversation with one of them. I’ve kept them in my life as long as I have because of something that they taught me and because I was afraid of what they might think. I know…ridiculous. Even though the first few weeks felt hard, lately, I’ve been feeling a serious weight lifted because I no longer have to pretend to want to interact with them anymore. I know it goes against what many think about extended family, but I know for certain I did the best thing for me and my family.
I know someone who also took the same route as you — stopping communication with their inlaws, and while it helped that person deal with the negative issues, it also caused other problems to surface. It left their spouse to defend their spouse’s decision (even if they didn’t agree with it), it left the “cutoff” family wondering what happened, and why they didn’t want to have a relationship anymore. I won’t even go into what the children were experiencing (feeling like they had to take a side), it did cause a lot of strife on everyone but the person who cut ties.
I cannot say that I know what it’s like to be in your shoes, but all our decisions, will have an affect on others around us.
I’ll explain a little bit why my situation is a bit different and why I don’t believe such a thing will be an issue. For one, my kids and my husband have not had a relationship with anyone on my side of the family nor will they ever. We moved away when my son was 2 months old and me and my husband had only been married for just a year. Our beliefs and our lifestyle don’t not obligate us to be in communication with extended family either nor have we. We also live 2000 miles away from all extended family that we were ever close to in the past and have for the last 2 years. I can see how a situation that you have heard of could have transpired if relationships had already been formed with people in the family but then the one person decided to sever ties altogether. My situation is extremely different. Before I decided to just not call at all and not to give out my new number, I almost never talked to anyone anyway.
As far as my in-laws (my husband’s family is concerned), it’s the same. He actually talks to them far less than I talked to my family. But they simply ask how we all are doing and that is it when he talks to them. So my decision was a lot easier I’m sure than a lot of other people’s might be. No one is truly close to us for it to have been a serious difference. I think eventually maybe my husband’s mom might ask since she runs into my family once in a while, but I’ll leave it up to husband on how he will respond. I trust him. But we don’t believe in allowing extended family members to be close to us or our children just because they are blood. This is a foreign concept for many, but it’s just how we believe so this really is not an issue for us. Honestly, I sort of just took the extra step at this point because like I said, we barely talk to anyone anyway especially since we moved.
I know I didn’t have to come back over to explain, but you are a blog friend and I figured even if you could never do such a thing, perhaps understanding my situation a little bit more will get you to see another side of what I was saying. π
Thank you Britteni for coming back and explaining your situation. I totally agree with you that your situation is much different than the other one that I have encountered. At the end of the day, you must do what have to do for the best of your family and loved ones π I hope I wasn’t sounding judgmental or anything before in my previous response (gotta love how the internet can leave too many things to interpretation). I hope you have a blessed week!
Hi Kalley! What a great series! I think we all are guilty of pride in some form or another, BUT the ‘self-conscience” one is something we all(especially myself) have been guilty of more than we’d like to admit! I can say, the older I’ve gotten the more I’ve stayed out of the trap the enemy uses to make me feel as if I don’t belong or that I’m not capable. Proverbs 16:18 pretty much sums it up and is always a good reflector when we find ourselves going to the other end of the “pride spectrum”, lol! Have a blessed rest of your week my friend!
Hey Michell! You are right about the self-conscience part, I know I’ve had more than my share about it. I think as we get older, we start to shed the idea of “fitting in” and become comfortable with ourselves and what we believe, that we don’t care what others think about us anymore.
This hit me like a ton of bricks: “we find ourselves paralyzed by the opinion of others” because I often find myself paralyzed by the opinions of myself! Does that count? I am my own worst critic and it takes active thought to let go of those opinions and remember that I am just as God wants me, that He too, has faith in me, the gifts bestowed on me and the grace He sheds on everyone. What a timely post as I get ready for November (NaNoWriMo, my first time, and first time writing a novel – oh the negative self talk with this! Humility!) Thanks for this post π
Oh yes, I can be my own worst critic! It’s a work in progress, that’s for sure! I wish you good luck for your first time doing NaNoWriMo! It seems very exciting and I hope I’ll be able to participate one of these days!
Ah Josemaria… for such a little man he packs a big wallop!! ! HIS stuff gets me every time!! Great post!!
Thank you so much Allison!
wonderful and well thought out post. Pride is the root of all evil and all good. Pride doesn’t have to be a bad thing for as long as you use it to be confident in yourself and not think you’re better then others. as i get older, i am finding that the opinions of others matter less to me, but every so often, certain people can bring out that insecurity in me and it’s something that I am continuously working to improve. i’m all for confidence and self-love, let’s just keep it positive and humble. thanks for this post.
I was blown away especially by the last three. I’m shy, and in some cases affected by what others think and say about me.
Thanks for the insight. Really need to do some introspection.