Season of Peace

Posted by on Dec 11, 2014 in Faith & Spirituality

Have you noticed how often we use the word peace? 

We are at peace.  They keep the peace.  I’m looking for peace and quiet.

We throw around the word so much these days, that we forget what it means to be at peace.  In the worldly sense, peace means tranquility.  But can we be in tranquility all the time?  Can we wake up in peace, not have any disturbances, and end our day in peace?  Nope.  Honestly, it just doesn’t happen.

The toil of daily life calls us.  Frustrates us.  


Advent of Peace


This week of Advent the second candle is lit.  The candle of peace.  In the secular sense, peace can be obtained by mediating, or by doing various poses of Yoga, or even baking to relieve the tension of the day.

In the news we hear about war, turmoil, strife, and sickness.  We see, and are fully aware of so much despair out there, that we will begin to question to ourselves: what is peace?

As we focus on the peace this week in Advent, we are reminded that Christ is coming.  We are truly not forgotten, we suffer for a purpose.


True Image of Peace


I am reminded of the sign of peace that we give each other at Mass.  Not only are we saying that we want peace for our brothers and sisters, but we are saying that the peace that we hope for them, is the peace that can only be offered through Christ.

These days, I’m truly amazed at how our secular world views God, and the peace that is offered through Him.  Too many times the image religion and our relationship with God has been distorted.  People view God’s plan for us as one that limits us, instead of seeing that it is plan that will ultimately give us peace.  


Peace Is A Fruit of Victory


We understand that peace is important this season.  We have so many things point towards it, but Peace does not and will not come easy.  Peace is not as elusive as it seems, but it can come once we win the battle of our own spirit.  There are vices that we must be made aware of.  In order to gain Peace, we must truly look at ourselves, which is painful to do, and we must let the light shine on our darkness.

By doing so, we are letting Christ come into our lives, and burn away our impurity.  Let this Advent season be the catalyst we need to change our minds, as well as our hearts.  Let our actions flow from our new awareness.  If we only change our minds, but our actions do not show that change, then we are truly not making any changes.

Change of mind begins with the intellect.  We therefore allow our values to become more aligned with God’s truth.


Have you been thinking about the changes in our life this Advent season?  Are you working on aligning your values with God’s truth?

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Would The Real Saint Nicholas Please Stand Up

Posted by on Dec 5, 2014 in Saints

I look back on some of my older posts, and I laugh to myself about myself about how I was going to defend or refute the infamous Santa Clause.

I laugh because I always seek truth. I didn’t want to lie to my children in the name of a holiday tradition, nor did I want to take the fun out of the season by saying he’s not real.

A few years ago, I came to the beautiful conclusion on how to handle it, and this year we are just taking it further.


The Catholic Bishop


Not many people are aware of this but Saint Nicholas  (15 March 270 – 6 December 343)  was a Catholic bishop around the year 300AD. He is also known as the patron Saint for children. He also loved to hand our gifts to children. The story goes:

There was a man who had three daughters who wanted to get married, but he had no money. He was going to sell them into slavery (I know right!) but Nicholas saw this, and him being very wealthy, he waited for them to fall asleep and left money for them by the chimney.

Of course this is such a simplified story, but you can read more about him here (in better details).


The Feast Day


December 6th is the feast day of Saint Nicholas. That means it’s a special day to hide little treats or candy in stockings for little kids. By the way, the tradition of the stockings by the chimney also comes from Saint Nicholas!

This year, we are separating his feast day, from Christmas, and celebrating as such. That means, on December 6th, the kids will find a surprise in their stockings. Not only is this a great way to remember a wonderful Saint, but it’s also a way to share the truth about “Santa Clause”

Another fact: Did you know that Santa means Saint?


Why share the Truth about Ol’ Saint Nick?


Well, there are tons of reasons but I’m going to state the two most important one:

1. He did exist. Just not in the way that he is portrayed now. He did share gifts with children, and I’m sure the children loved him. We share the truth, because we don’t want to lie, and a silly lie about Saint Nicholas will come back to bite us in the end.

2. It brings the reason for the season the front of our minds. Christmas is not about Santa Clause, and how many presents we get. Christmas is about Christ. The promise that he’s going to come again, and the hope and joy that will fill our hearts when He does.

Yes we celebrate it, because it’s a day worth celebrating, but presents is not the most important part of the season.

3. Stopping the materialism. (yes, I did say two, but this is a bonus) Notice how hard it is to tell kids that they can’t have something? How hard is it for us to stop ourselves from getting things that we don’t need. We need to step back from materialism and realize that things will not make us happy. And, to be quite honest (in the sake of clarity), if you’re yearning for something, you could be yearning for a relationship with someone.  Let’s use this Advent season to develop  a deeper relationship with Christ.


I hope that this helped you a little bit about learning about Saint Nick, and I hope that it will encourage you to celebrate his feast day (separate from Christmas).  

How would you like to celebrate the Feast of Saint Nicholas on December 6th?

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A Season Of Hope: Preparing Our Hearts and Homes

Posted by on Dec 2, 2014 in Faith & Spirituality

season of hope


I‘m very thrilled that Advent started Sunday. Not only is it my favorite time of year, but it is a time of hope.

This time of year we prepare our hearts and homes for the celebration of Christ.

Some things that my kids are doing for this advent is following Along with Holy Heroes. Everyday, there is an activity, video and things to do for Advent. Not only are they learning about “the reason for the season” but they too learn how to do their part to prepare our home and their hearts for Christmas.

As for adults, you know we’re usually busy buying the gifts and preparing for the celebration, but like last year, I don’t want to lose the season of advent. It’s a beautiful time to realign our hearts to a higher purpose and to hope for a better tomorrow.


What can we do to prepare for Christmas during Advent?


1. Fast

Right about now (maybe in a few days), we’ll be tempted to eat all the holiday candies, cookies and cakes. I know many of us are pinning them up to make! But for this season, you can fast from all forms of sweets or even give up something that you like.

The reason some of us would choose to fast during this season, because it is a period of waiting. Waiting for something good to come. To prepare our bodies for the feast (because let’s be honest–Christmas is a feast), we should know how to do without something’s we really like–at least for a while.


2. Daily meditations


Advent meditations are awesome this time of year. Not only are you given a scripture reading, but it usually leaves you with a question that you can think about for the day.

This is the first year I’m doing daily meditation Advent. I’m loving it so far, and I do highly recommend it, especially if you haven’t done it before.


3. Decorate the tree, but hold off on lighting it.


Decorating the tree is the fun part for many children, but this year wait until Christmas Day (midnight) to light the tree. You can keep the little ones up until midnight for the tradition, and they too have something else to look forward to. Not only can you enjoy the fruits of your labor, but you can truly celebrate Christ coming to the world, and lighting our way.


4. Attend Mass


If you have never been to a Christmas vigil, you have no idea what you’re missing. The mass is beautiful and could be “a lot” for some that never been to any mass before.

Getting back to the reason for the season, go to Church. Celebrate Jesus’
Birthday with Him. Out of everything we do and can do this holiday season, let’s not forget why we have it.


5. Get Relationships Back In Order


This is the perfect time of year to forgive each other. To not close your heart to those that have done you wrong. Seek them out. Apologize if you were the offender, forgive them if you were offending.

This can and will be the hardest thing to do during the season because we love to hold on to our hurt, and pain. We nurture them and rely on them to help us feel numb. But this is the time to let all that go.

As we start this new Liturgical year, let us look forward to beginnings and hope for all good things to come.

Can you name some things that you can do to prepare your hearts for Christmas during this waiting period?



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A Closer Look At The Deadly Seven — Gluttony

Posted by on Nov 26, 2014 in Catechetics, Faith & Spirituality

Yes!  We’ve made it to the last one.  Amen!  Honestly, I feel sorry for my family who had to deal with me all these weeks and my conversations.  

If you’re new here, and want to see what else was written in the series, please click here.


Just one last slice of cake, I promise, and I won’t eat it again.  

Do you want those fries?

All you can eat chocolate?  I’m in!

(not kidding, all things I know I’ve said before, and I suspect that I’m not alone)



What is Gluttony?


Gluttony can be defined as:

disordered appetite — to gulp down or swallow, means over-indulgence and over-consumption of food, drink, or wealth items to the point of extravagance or waste. (source)

Okay, who can’t get that scene out of their minds from Seven when the man was tied and forced to eat more than he could.  Ultimately, his stomach couldn’t handle all the food and burst?  I’ll give you a moment to for it to just try to remember the details of that movie.

We usually define gluttony as the definition stated above and what we usually see in the movie.  After all, the movie was able to portray the extreme of the vice,  but, there is more to gluttony than just over eating.

Gluttony can also be described as being too picky.  Yes too picky!  Being too attached to a certain kind of food, and in that attachment, we end up making everyone else miserable (or go out of their way) by refusing to eat anything other than exactly what we wanted.


Looking At Gluttony At a Modern Perspective


I cannot help but think of the letter from CFLewis, The Screwtape Letters.  Here we can see how glutton is expressed from men and women, and even how we could think we are doing someone a favor, we are become attached to our ideas.



The contemptuous way in which you spoke of gluttony as a means of catching souls, in your last letter, only shows your ignorance. One of the great achievements of the last hundred years has been to deaden the human conscience on that subject, so that by now you will hardly find a sermon preached or a conscience troubled about it in the whole length and breadth of Europe. This has largely been effected by concentrating all our efforts on gluttony of Delicacy, not gluttony of Excess. Your patient’s mother, as I learn from the dossier and you might have learned from Glubose, is a good example. She would be astonished – one day, I hope, will be – to learn that her whole life is enslaved to this kind of sensuality, which is quite concealed from her by the fact that the quantities involved are small.

But what do quantities matter, provided we can use a human belly and palate to produce querulousness, impatience, uncharitableness, and self-concern?Glubose has this old woman well in hand. … She is always turning from what has been offered her to say with a demure little sigh and a smile “Oh, please, please … all I want is a cup of tea, weak but not too weak, and the teeniest weeniest bit of really crisp toast.”

You see? Because what she wants is smaller and less costly than what has been set before he, she never recognizes as gluttony her determination to get what she wants, however troublesome it may be to others. At the very moment of indulging her appetite she believes that she is practising temperance …; in reality … the particular shade of delicacy to which we have enslaved her is offended by the sight of more food than she happens to want.

The real value of the quiet, unobtrusive work which Glubose has been doing for years on this old woman can be guaged by the way in which her belly now dominates her whole life. … Meanwhile, the daily disappointment produces daily ill temper: cooks give notice and friendships are cooled. …

Now your patient is his mother’s son. … Being a male, he is not so likely to be caught by the “All I want” camouflage. Men are best turned into gluttons with the help of their vanity. They ought to be made to think themselves very knowing about food, to pique themselves on having found the only restaurant in the town where steaks are really “properly” cooked. What begins as vanity can then be gradually turned into habit. But, however you approach it, the great thing is to bring him into the state in which the denial of any one indulgence – it matters not which, champagne or tea, sole colbert or cigarettes – “puts him out,” for them his charity, justice, and obedience are all at your mercy.

Mere excess in food is much less valuable than delicacy. Its chief use is as a kind of artillery preparation for attacks on chastity [and I would add other areas of godliness, but that’s a topic for another day] …

Your affectionate uncle


Sins of Gluttony


To explain in plain terms what all that means, is the following:  thoughtlessness waste, consumption of more than is necessary, misplaced sensuality, uncleanness, maliciously depriving others, drunkenness, substance abuse, and vandalism.

Since now, since we all eat to live, we want to enjoy what we eat.  It’s natural, but the problem comes when we’re obsessed by it, or we end up eating for the wrong reasons–and that’s no longer to live.  We eat when we worry, eat when we’re sad.  Overall, we know that food is for the body, but we forget that the body is not the center of the universe.

To look at this vice without the thought of food, we would have to take a look at our  consumption and buying habits.  Do we buy more than we need?  If so, then we immediately go to wastefulness.   

Wait Vandalism?  How is This so?


I’ll be honest, this part is something that I’m still trying to understand myself.  But gluttony is this obsession of consumption, so much so that a person willfully hurt their bodies.  Especially if they know what they are doing is wrong for their bodies.  

 It abuses the body by eating too much food, food that’s too rich, or ersatz, food that does not actually nourish. We eat hastily and thoughtlessly, at the wrong times, or at any time, or all the time. We are picky gourmand or, less frequently, we refuse to eat much at all, starving our bodies and threatening our very lives. (source)

So this part I’m still grappling with, and I guess when my mind fully wraps itself around this, I know I will come back to this for sure.


The Opposite Virtue


Temperance is the opposite virtue of gluttony.  Temperance is:

moderation or self-restraint, especially in eating and drinking.

So what are we to do when see those cookies that we know we’re going to pig out on?  St. Augustine had the right idea when he said,

“To many, total abstinence is easier than perfect moderation.”

Other ways we show temperance in our lives is when we say grace before and after meals.  It is a reminder where the food came from, and who provided it.  It is also to help us remember that we’re not eating for eating sake.


Do you find that its easier to just stay away from the things that causes you to over eat? or have you practiced and do really good at moderation?


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The Deadly Seven – Greed

Posted by on Nov 18, 2014 in Catechetics, Faith & Spirituality

I think Biggie Smalls said it best, ” Mo Money, mo’ problems.”  This week we are going to take a closer look at Greed.  Welcome to my series of the Deadly Seven.  If you are new here, you can click here to get a list of all the ones we’ve covered so far.


Gimme, gimme, gimme.  The words that parents do not like to hear.  In fact, I’m sure that some of us even said that to ourselves when we see something that we feel that we must have.




We can define Greed as the following:

also known as avarice, cupidity, or covetousness, is the inordinate desire to possess wealth, goods, or objects of abstract value with the intention to keep it for one’s self, far beyond the dictates of basic survival and comfort. It is applied to a markedly high desire for and pursuit of wealth, status, and power. (source)


Just A Little More


Did you know that those of us who are moderately well off (have a decent paying job) and those who are very well off, always compare themselves with people are further along in life than they are?  This means: instead of being happy with one television, and a car, we compare our lives with people who have two cars, and two televisions, and bigger houses.   Unfortunately, we equate happiness with lifestyles.

Ultimately, with Greed, we are looking for temporary things (money, possessions etc.) to make us happy.  We are looking for satisfaction in the things that surround us, when ultimately, they end up leaving us wanting more.


The Vices of Greed


Consumerism.  Noticed how things are advertised these days?  The iWatch commercial will again be used as an example.  Here in this commercial, they have smooth voice explain the features of the watch, while the screen lures us in, slowly, seductively, on the journey.  Nothing is done quick or fast, since that’s not seductive.  At the end of the commercial, you’re left drooling over the watch by how it was explained.  Consumerism is just like that.  We are constantly lured, in, and begin to lust after the things that we think will make us happy.  In the end, we just end up spending money to fill a void that is still there.

Living Beyond Our Means.  Of course this is related to consumerism, where we want and want, but ultimately, our lifestyles become too expensive for us.  We’re borrowing to keep up, because we have a fear of missing out on all the luxury items.  Oh, and it’s okay to do it, because everyone is doing it.


Failure to TitheWhat does donating have anything to do with greed?  Well, it goes back to keep it all to oneself.  If you give to others then you won’t have.  No one is saying that we have to tithe until we have nothing, that would be reckless–to put our families in danger, but think how helpful will be with our fellow human by tithe (or helping) those in need.


Opposite Virtue


The opposite virtue to greed is generosity. We can be generous of spirit, and through wealth.

 One of the best ways to help keep this in check is to:  

  1. Live simply.
  2. Trust God.
  3. Give Generously.

I’m going to suspect that the first one–live simply–is something that’s hard to do.  After all, what does it mean to live simply?  Go back to time before television?  Well, I don’t think that is what it means.  I think to live simply means to have what you need, and no more.  For instance, you can buy coffee, but does it have to be the one that’s brewed across the world that cost like $20 a cup?  (Shows you how much I drink coffee), or will a simple cup of coffee be okay.

To discern this, I believe pride, will end up rearing its head: I deserve this expensive cup of coffee, but I hope you understand.  

Once in a while is fine, we all treat ourselves, but what happen when the treat becomes an everyday thing?

What does “living simply” mean to you?


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The Deadly Seven — Sloth

Posted by on Nov 11, 2014 in Catechetics, Faith & Spirituality

Ahh, number 5, and I’m feeling quite lazy already.  Okay, buck up, only have this one and two more to go (my mini pep talk).

Greetings, if you’re new to this series, welcome, you can check out all the post regarding this topic here.



Sloth has always been portrayed as the lazy person.  veggin’ out on the couch, eating chips, and the room is a complete mess, shoo, they are a complete mess!  But there’s more to it than that.



What is Sloth?

Sloth: reluctance to work or make an effort; laziness.

The many sins of sloth are: apathy, idleness, indifferent, wasting time, cowardice, irresponsibility, workaholism, and many sins of omission, including the failure to observe the Lord’s day and other neglected duties.  Stress over the prospect what it means to embrace the faith completely.

Problems of the Workaholic


Sloth is not a sin against the clock.  In fact, we as Americans are pretty good about our work ethic.  We wake up early, some of us refuse to be completely off during vacations (I was one of them), we have always been busy for the sake of being busy.  But that is the problem.

With the capital sin of Sloth, it’s not a sin against time, but against God.  John Paul II wrote,

” the heart of the tragedy being experienced by modern man: the eclipse of the sense of God and of man.”  

We are moving into (or have already moved) to a place where people already feel they are above God.  Some have even defined faith on their own terms.

John Paul II explains that when we lose a sense of God in our lives, we lose a sense of our purpose.  We are then defined by what we do, instead of who we are.  Some of us even define ourselves by what we have


Always Seeking Entertainment


Diversions, or entertainments are just that, a diversion.  There should and has to be a complete balance between working (which is a virtue) and leisure.  One of the issues of always turning to diversions, and neglecting our duties,  is finding ourselves bored, and apathetic towards things in life.  

This would probably explain why we feel so drained after a full day of catching up on our favorite tv shows.  Our lives require balance.

A great way to see the balance between work and leisure is the book of Genesis, we see that God has defined this for us by having a day of rest.


Apathy Towards The Gospels


This will be a hard pill for many to swallow but Saint Augustine said it best:

If you believe what you like in the gospels, and reject what you don’t like, it is not the gospel you believe, but yourself.

Unfortunately, this is the cold hard truth.  We cannot change the gospels to fit our whims.  We cannot say that things have changed and the gospels has to change with our current times (and sentiments).  We cannot call ourselves disciples if we do not accept all aspects of the gospels. 

Some will choose to turn a blind ear to some parts of the gospels, because it’s hard for us to follow.  However, being disciples and part of God’s family is hard.  It requires a change in self completely (Luke 14:25-33), it requires to choosing your faith above all and owning it.  

We are called to know what stops us from following God–even if it is ourselves.  


Sloth In The Extreme


In the extreme sense of spiritual sloth, we begin to:

  • Have a distain for anything spiritual.
  • Neglect prayers and reading of the Bible
  • Refuse to go to Church, by giving ourselves the excuse “what’s the point.” or “I have other things I need to do.”  
  • Close our ears and minds to anything spiritual.

 By neglecting these things and others, we become indifferent towards God.  Worse, we don’t become the man or woman whom God has made us to be.  In that sense we refuse God’s grace.


Getting Things Back In Order


Ultimately, the people who pay for our unrelenting need to work (or stay busy), is our family.  We start neglecting the people that we love, even if we say we are doing everything for them.  As a result, we find our relationships muted.

Pray and ask for guidance.  Pray for God to help you with this vice.  It’s one that can easily slip up on us, especially in this culture.  Ask the Lord to help with discernment, so that you know what is truly important, and what can wait.  

Keep the Lord’s Day Holy.  After a long Saturday, it’s so easy to say that we just want to sleep in and do nothing.  But we are reminded that the Sabbath is the Lord’s day by heading out to Church.  We start the Sabbath with Church and afterwards remind ourselves that it is a day for God and family.  Going to Mass should then be seen not as the least for what we can do, but to start the beginning of a Holy day.

Set Clear Boundaries.  Truly use a day to set aside for your family.  No devices, no social media, no news.  Nada.  Spend that time with your family.  That doesn’t necessarily mean to spend time in front of the TV, but truly have a conversation with your spouse, and kids.  Use this time to reconnect with each other.

Know Your Priorities.  There are so many things that can just wait, or simply not important enough.  Know exactly what they are.  Sometimes, a small thing can seem to be a huge thing that we must do, but don’t be fooled by it.  Know what it is you are truly doing for your family, and what you’re doing simply to look important.

Learn How to Plan Your Time Well.  Yes, sloth is not a sin against the clock, but we can easily become distracted by things we think are important.  Plan your time for meal planning, chores, and the like. These things of course has to get done, but we don’t have to be slaves to them.  


Opposite Virtue


The opposite virtue to sloth is zeal and diligence.  

As some of you know, trying a new workout routine is hard.  But one has to be enthusiastic and plan diligently to reach their goals.  Combating Sloth is not going to be easy, but it’s also going to be painful at first.  


Do you find that you are easily distracted by being too busy?  What must you do to get back in order?

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The Deadly Seven — Lust

Posted by on Nov 4, 2014 in Catechetics, Faith & Spirituality

If Wednesday is the hump day of the week, then Lust is the hump sin of the series — okay,  bad joke.  You can check out the rest of the Deadly Seven, by clicking here for the list.

Moving right along now, Lust.  Most of us have a pretty good idea what Lust is.  I mean, we see it talked about a lot, and in our society that is a sexual society, it’s hard not to know it.



What is Lust?

Very strong sexual desire: he knew that his lust forher had returned.

• in sing. ] a passionate desire for something: a lust for power.


 Other Forms of Lust


Using Someone To Get What We Want.  Yes, lust is usually defined in the sexual definition, but even in the basic definition of lust we can use someone to get what we want.  It may not be sexual, however, we sometimes make friends with people because of what they can offer us, not what we both can bring to the table.  At this point, we don’t see them as a person but as an object to get what we want.


Lust In Marriages


Lust or Desire.  I think in our society we are very confused with the idea of lust and desire.  Lust, satisfies itself.  There is no greater meaning for it, since it starts and ends with itself.  So lust can enter a marriage if all we think about is what our spouse can do for us.  If our thoughts primarily focus on our own pleasure then it is indeed lust.  Desire on the other hand is a very strong feeling of wanting someone or for something to happen.  It doesn’t say or mean that it will happen.  We can desire our spouses, after all, that is what keeps love going: to want them in all ways.  We don’t want them or love them because there is something we can get from them, but we love them for who they are, with all their faults.

Visual Stimulation.  ABC’s Scandal comes to mind with this one.  In one episode, Mellie tells Fitz that if he see’s Olivia tell her.  She doesn’t want to be surprised about his sudden attentions because he would like to use her to satisfy his personal cravings.  The idea of Fitz using Mellie in that way because he can’t really get who he wants at the time and instead turns to her for his gratification, I wonder how many of us would feel if we did that to our spouses or worse–have it happen to us.


Lust in Society (Non Sexual)


Not too long ago, Apple came out with a commercial that discusses the iWatch.  Now, the first time you see this commercial (or infomercial) there is slow movements, such as slow turns, the light hitting the curves off of the body of the watch, and the deep timbre voice discussing what Apple wanted to do with the idea of the watch.  As a commercial, it’s a very good marketing strategy, however, we can see how far we’ve come when we’ve applied applying sexual advertisements to objects.


Lust Gone Wrong

 Two examples that can show us how lust leads us to other kinds are sins are:

(1) A few weeks ago,  Mary Spears  was killed because she refused to give a man her number.  

(2)  Dana writes about her experience after her rape, and how she also dealt with lust, not only as a victim but also  as a means of getting back at her attacker. 


How do we overcome lust?

Pray.  You must enter prayer into your life.  Pray for the Lord to help you, ask the Saints to pray for you.  

Remove yourself from temptation.  If you find that you are a place and you know your flesh is weak, remove yourself from it.  There is nothing wrong turning your head from a very explicit scene on the screen or even turning the channel.  

Be Open of your activities with your loved ones.  Keep no secrets of your browsing history online.  Share with your family what you have done, and where you have gone.  Even go as far as getting a filter system for your account to block out certain sites.  

Keep eye contact.  Instead of roaming a person’s body when you meet them, look at them straight in the eye when you talk to them.  Hopefully, this will help you keep your thoughts pure.

Charity Work.  Give yourself selflessly to those in need.  When you are busy helping others in need, you don’t have time to focus on your desires.  

Pick your crowd.  If your group of friends like going to clubs, and you know that is a place of temptation for you, you can either sit out or decide to find other people who have the same interests as you.  


Lust is a difficult topic to talk about these days because our culture is so prevalent on showing every piece of skin that we have.  We are so used to seeing the sexualization of our society that we don’t even bat an eye anymore–that is until a young child starts to absorb and reflect society.  

 Self examination is usually key in determining if we’re suffering from Lust.  Some of us may even suffer from the non-sexual part of lust by using others to get what we want.

Have you ever entered a friendship so that you can move up at work, or become more popular?

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